Monthly Archives: October 2011

All Hallows Hook-ups

As we mature, Halloween becomes less and less about dressing-up as an evil demon and more about releasing your inner demon in the bedroom. Although Halloween may not have the most romantic reputation, it can be a great opportunity to mingle with other interested singles. In fact, in a recent study of over 500 Canadian singles at, over two-thirds view Halloween as a great opportunity to let your guard down, put yourself out there, and meet new people.

So, what is it about Halloween that creates a good environment for singles? One possibility is the inclusion of fantasy and dressing-up. Wearing a costume gives people the opportunity to be whatever they want to be. It is as though, for one night only, you can be a stranger in your home town and take advantage of the anonymity that results.

But, are other singles interested in those who dress-up more than those who “keep-it-real?” Well, according to the study at, both men and women agree that someone in costume is more attractive than someone who is not dressed up. Furthermore, about 70% of the men preferred women in sexy costumes (GO FIGURE!), while about half of the women reported a preference for men donning clever/humourous costumes.

Although, their findings suggest that dressing-up is the preferred way to go, not all Halloween costumes are created equal. For example, coordinated costumes can be a lot of fun, however, nearly half of both men and women view coordinated costumes as an indication that the person is “off the market” or disinterested in hooking-up. Additionally, scary costumes may actually work against you and scare off potential dates, with only about 5-10% of men and women reporting a preference for someone in a spooktacular costume.

So, whether it be this year or next, if you are looking for a good chance to hook-up, Halloween may be your day. Just remember to show a little skin, tell a few jokes, and steer clear of the fake blood and creepy contacts.

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Posted by on October 30, 2011 in Uncategorized


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Sexcapade of the Day: Service with a Smile

My boyfriend and I needed a cab ride home from the bar one night after consuming a few too many bevskies. So, after boarding our trusty yellow steed, I should mention that we live a really, really long (like $35 cab ride) way from town.

So we’re driving along, and my bf unzips his pants and sort of “leads” my head down into his lap.
I, eventually, cave and start giving him a blow job in the back of this cab.The cabbie began to get a sense for the activities occurring in the back seat and subtly started to adjust his rear-view mirror to get a better look.

After a while, my boyfriend caught him spying on us and said, “hey man, take $20 bucks off this cab ride and she’ll blow you too!”

(I didn’t, of course), but we live in a pretty small community, and to this day, whenever that cab driver sees me around town, he’ll say, “need a cab ride?”

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Posted by on October 19, 2011 in Uncategorized


Ask Ashley Answer: Jerkin off, should you slow down your strokin’?


My girlfriend doesn’t like it when I masturbate, when she’s not around for us to have sex. She asked me how often I would do that if I was single, or not having sex on a regular basis. I said likely daily. She said this was too much, but when I asked her if us having sex everyday would be considered too much, she said no.  Both are physically pleasurable acts, granted there can be more of an emotional element to sex over masturbation, so why would doing one everyday be more acceptable than the other?


As the old saying goes, about 98% of people masturbate and the rest are just lying. Although there remains a grain of truth to this saying, frequency of masturbation may not be as often as we might think. In fact, a recent study assessing 3,116 Americans (conducted at the University of Chicago), found that only 38% of women and 61% of men reported masturbating once in the past year. Now we must acknowledge that many people may be reluctant to admit to their masturbation routines, however these numbers are still nowhere near 98%, as the saying would have us believe.

However, this is not really answering your question…particularly, for those that do masturbate, what is the average frequency? Well, people vary tremendously in how much they play with themselves and no amount is the wrong amount. Everyone has differing sexual needs and tending to those needs can have a number of benefits (e.g., stress relief, improved heart health, and click here for more).

Although there is nothing wrong with playing with one’s self, and the many health benefits may follow, overplay might lead to some complications when it comes to sexual relationships with others. Specifically, for those in romantic relationships, too much jerking can lead to ONE DISSATISFIED PARTNER. So, how can you tell when enough is enough? Well here are some indications that you may need to give it a rest (for a while 😉 )

  • How is your health? Does it appear to be impacted by the amount you masturbate?
  • Are you satisfied with your life — career, relationship, friendships — or are you using masturbation as an escape from things that are bothering you?
  • Is your penis or clitoris sore, chafed, or bruised?
  • Do you have any problem orgasming/climaxing alone or with your partner?
  • Do you still have sex with your partner? Are you having an amount of sex that you’re both content with?

On the other hand, this issue may not be related the amount you masturbate, it may be due to insecurities your girlfriend may have. Issues surrounding masturbation, especially when in a relationship, are not uncommon. It sounds, to me, like you and your girlfriend may have differing notions regarding the “ideal” frequency of masturbation. The best thing to do in situations like these is to communicate with your partner. Find out: why she is bothered by masturbation, her ideas surrounding how much one should jack off, and why different rules may apply to those in a relationship compared to those who are single. Talking things over with a sexual partner will not only shed light on their ideas toward normal sexual behaviour but also help clarify your own.

Remember, it’s not about how often you stroke the baloney pony but it’s about how you’re living the rest of your life. As long as masturbation is only a part of your life and not instead of your life, you’re fine. However, if it is consuming your life or damaging your relationship(s) then maybe you need to consider slowing down on your stroking and dealing with the reasons behind your twinkie tugging.

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Posted by on October 13, 2011 in Uncategorized


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Who Puts the “Majora” in “Labia Majora?”

What does the term “Designer Vagina” mean to you?

No, no, it’s not the new up-and-coming chick punk rock band, good try though!

It is actually a newly coined term used to describe the “ever-so-popular surgically manipulated vagina.” That’s right, in recent years, female genital reproductive surgery has become an increasingly popular trend. In fact, according to a recent study, vaginal cosmetic surgery is the fastest-growing cosmetic procedure in the U.K. As if that is not CRAZY enough, plastic surgeons attest that the vast majority of their patients were physiologically normal, with nearly all of them presenting with your average, everyday “beaver.” As this suggests, the issue isn’t incontinence, or any other medical problem, it’s purely misinformed notions regarding vaginal aesthetics. Women with healthy, well-functioning, “run of the mill vaginas” are the one’s finding the flaws.

So, what exactly are these young women having done to their “nether-regions?” Well, for the most part it seems as though it is the opposite of breast augmentation, in terms of women’s kooters, less is more: smaller labias, less pubic hair, shrunken clitoral hoods, etc.  In particular, there are two main surgeries performed currently, labiaplasty and vaginoplasty. Labiaplasties are designed to decrease the size of women’s labia through snipping and sculpting. Vaginoplasty, on the other hand, allows women to tighten and decrease the size of their vaginal opening.

If these surgeries are a somewhat recent trend, where did these notions of ideal Va-j-j’s come from anyway? Is it by constantly subjecting us to pictures of celebrities “bare Britney’s,” or is through the ever-expanding pornography industry? Who is to say for sure. What we do know, is that cosmetic surgeries on women’s “who haws” are not decreasing in popularity, on the contrary, they are becoming more common than ever. But is it really all that bad?

Now, there can be positive outcomes associated with cosmetic surgeries on your “dirty bits.” Women feeling more comfortable with their privates may experience higher sexual esteem and that can lead to greater sexual satisfaction. But do the benefits outweigh the costs? Are the risks associated with vaginal surgeries (e.g., the loss of sensitivity or painful stimulation) far too great? That is only for you to determine. However, in many cases, women approaching plastic surgeons are in need of more than just a “pussy face-lift,” there is a good chance that these women have some underlying self-esteem issues. So, if you really feel as though vaginal reconstructive surgery is the right choice for you, I want you to think… before tightening the soft shell of your pink taco, do you think the answer to your problems can be solved with the simple slice of a scalpel?


Posted by on October 6, 2011 in Uncategorized


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Ask Ashley Answer: What’s the Deal with Female Orgasms?

Question: Just when I was beginning to understand the nuances of my girlfriend’s clitoris, I am now reading about the G-spot, the A-spot and the U-spot.  Help!  How important are these for giving my girl mind-blowing sexual experiences?  And is there one type or many types of female orgasm?

Excellent question! Unfortunately, the answer is quite unclear. The main reason these questions are extremely difficult to answer is due to the lack of scientific literature supporting these female “hot-spots.” Before debating the presence of these erogenous zones, it is important to define each spot’s theorized function and location.

The G-spot (named after Ernst Gräfenberg), unlike the clitoris, is located inside a woman’s vagina. It is a small, highly sensitive area located 5-8 cm (2-3 inches) past the vaginal opening on the upper wall. During female arousal, this area starts to swell resulting in a small patch of the vaginal wall protruding into the vaginal canal. There are different ways of stimulating the G spot, with the most effective being rhythmic pushing and circular friction.

The A-spot (or Anterior Fornix Erogenous Zone), is a patch of sensitive tissue at the inner end of the vaginal tube between the cervix and the bladder. Its true location is just above the cervix at the, tough to reach, innermost point of the vagina. The A-spot has been described as the female equivalent of the male prostate. Similar to the prostate, the A-spot has been known to produce fluid and it has been suggested that pressure to the A-spot produces rapid lubrication of the vagina in about ten-seconds.

The U-spot is a small patch of sensitive tissue located just above the urethral opening. It has been suggested by American clinical researchers that this area be treated similarly to the clitoris and may result in orgasms to the same degree.

Now that we are all on the same page regarding the buttons on the female keyboard, it is important to understand their acceptance by scientific experts. Unfortunately, none of the above (even the g-spot) is generally accepted by all sex-researchers. From the male perspective, the mysteries surrounding female arousal and orgasm are just another example of the vagueness of women.

For example, Beverly Whipple, responsible for popularizing and naming the g-spot, still acknowledges the uncertainty surrounding the g-spot. In one of Whipple’s studies, after stimulation, all of the 400 women reported the presence of the g-spot, however, not everybody liked it being stimulated (meaning that, although it may exist, it may not serve a function during sexual arousal or climax in every female). Additionally, after skimming through the academic journals, I discovered an even greater degree of uncertainty surrounding the other “hot-spots.” In fact, some women describe their orgasms that originated in different locations (clitoris, G-spot, & U-spot) as feeling different to them while others noted NO difference (so… differing female orgasms are just as debated as differing female “hot-spots”).

I think it is also important to note the other ways with which women have reported experiencing an orgasm. Particularly, women have identified experiencing a “happy sneeze” through stimulation of the anus and nipples, and more astonishingly, women have reported experiencing a “Big-O” mentally (through thoughts)!

Today, female orgasm suffers from problems similar to a double edged sword: On one hand, our knowledge regarding the female “hot-spots” and orgasm triggers are ever-expanding. However, on the other hand, many women report never having experienced an orgasm and may feel cheated or inferior because their expectations to do so. In other words, women should not strive for culmination but should focus their attention on just enjoying themselves. Women can have pleasure and satisfaction WITHOUT orgasm. However, how can women expect a man to provide sexual pleasure resulting in an orgasm if women can not do it themselves? Therefore, it is important for women to experiment with themselves (“double click their own mouse”) to better understand their anatomy and sexual preferences.

Click here to see more detail about the female “hot-spots” provided by Doctor Oz.

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Posted by on October 2, 2011 in Uncategorized


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